Coming home was harder than leaving

Settling Back into Routine After 10 Months Travelling

Three years of living in England and ten months travelling around the world led to this reflection.

One day, you wake up craving the comfort of home—the smell of the detergent your mother uses on your clothes, the cozy sofa where you used to spend evenings watching Netflix, and familiar faces and places that make everything feel just right.

One day, you make a decision, you buy a ticket back home.

You return with a wealth of stories, emotions, and experiences, only to be met with indifference. It feels as though people resent your ability to explore and grow on your own. You’re not the topic of conversation, and neither are the stories you were so eager to share.

You step out of the house for a walk along what once was your daily route to school. Nothing has changed, but you feel different. And you feel this way because you can’t comprehend how just a few months, which form the essence of a lifetime, have shifted your entire past perception of reality.

You don’t feel like going to parties or hanging out with those you used to spend hours chatting with on a bench under the sun when that was your definition of happiness. Now, it’s not enough; those conversations have frozen in a past to which you no longer belong.

You’ll find yourself wanting to spend more time alone, and memories will pop into your mind, making it harder to adjust to the new version of your past life.

What about starting a new routine?

After experiencing a sense of freedom every day upon waking up and having the power to use the simplest words—Yes and No—as often as I wished, the idea of falling into monotony seemed impossible.

The truth is, while everyone dreams of escaping monotony, I found myself longing for it. I wanted something stable for a while.

I started working 20 hours a week, which soon turned into 30. I was always tired and didn’t feel like socialising. I just wanted to retreat into my thoughts, travelling through the photos and videos that captured those moments of happiness that had so passionately shaped my new personality. A personality I was so eager to show, but no one seemed interested in hearing about it; they were stuck on a past version of me.

I, however, was missing the version of myself that I was proud of while travelling. A tiny adult slowly discovering the meaning of life, facing so many challenges with so little worry.

 The Struggle to Reignite Creativity After Returning Home

I want to mention how moving back in with my parents, saying goodbye to old friends, and welcoming so many new ones was harder than taking that first flight all alone.

Because once I was there, I knew what lay ahead, starting from cero. However, returning home meant facing old habits and environments I had long left behind.

Each morning, as I opened my eyes, I was flooded with a sense of stagnation. I knew that another day would pass without reaching the level of imagination, creativity, and motivation that came so easily to me while I was abroad.

To this day, it still affects me. But unlike a few months ago, I’ve created a new version of myself with which I can say I’m happy to be back home. After giving myself the mental break I so needed to heal from my most feared affliction— “lack of motivation”—I’ve gradually been recovering.

What used to stimulate my creativity was no longer there. Now, it was time to find that element that would bring it back and allow it to flourish. That key component that reignites us, is within each of us; you just need to explore and challenge yourself.

Wait, did I actually live through all that?

One day, you wake up and feel like it was all a dream. A dream come true. Not only did you emancipate yourself from your parents, but you also emancipated yourself from the conventional. And do you know how I know this?

Because when you return to your room filled with old memories, your perception of reality shifts. “Did I really experience all those moments?” you might ask yourself. Only life-changing experiences can have that effect, and travelling for an extended period is one of them.

Yes, it was all real, and yes, you can find yourself back in that place you once left behind with a bookmark. In the end, our lives are made up of chapters.